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February 22, 2006

Is that a good way to meet women?

Today I walked into the elevator of my building working on a lace shawl and that’s what the guy asked. Smiling, middle-aged regular guy sort of guy. I wasn’t in a snarky mood, so I said, “Actually, yes.”

I didn’t bother to tell him, “Because they assume you’re non-threatening and probably gay.” Now, as someone who loathes the stereotype that all male knitters are gay (and therefore knitting, like ballet is suspect because it’s, like, coated with icky GAY. . .and therefore we have to publicly display every straight man who has ever put on a dance belt or picked up knitting needles. . .)

Where was I?

Anyway, I hate that stereotype and here I am using it. I’m curious what women actually think. Do you assume anything at all about a man’s sexuality if you see him knitting? Even if you don’t assume anything about his sexuality at all, would you find it desirable? Would you find it hot?

If I’m knitting and I see a man I think is attractive (and it’s that kinda situation . . .) I tuck the needles away pronto. Yes I love knitting, but to me, knitting is most decidedly not hot. Cruising and knitting don’t mix. The other time I just can’t bring myself to knit? When I’m formally dressed. Cufflinks and a suit and knitting are just not something I can wrap my brain around.

Posted by Leigh Witchel at February 22, 2006 6:44 PM

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Some women like a bit of eccentricity. I find a man who is absorbed in something, who seems slightly detached from the world buzzing around him...attractive. I might think he was more likely to be gay, but I would not assume it to be the case. Knitting isn't hot, but it is unusual to see a guy doing it and that would make me want to talk to him.

Posted by: Mia at February 23, 2006 11:06 AM

I'd think he was hot because of the self-confidence implied by KIPping. I'd start talking to him because hey, knitters are interesting. I have the most unreliable gaydar ever so I've given up making assumptions, unless the guy is actively flirting with me.

Posted by: TexAnne at February 23, 2006 12:55 PM

How hot it would be be would depend a lot on the guy in question, but yes, the knowledge of knitting is an attractive quality. I tend to be attracted to unconventional men, so this may be just a confirming sign for me.

I did recently meet a guy who knew how to card wool. And when he used the phrase "well, I prefer the drum carder because it leaves you with a better prepared batt" it was certainly one of the factors that tipped the scales in his favor. Ahem. So yes, apparently I found that hot.

Posted by: Juno at February 24, 2006 2:08 PM

I don't assume anything. I am pleased to have someone to chat with. Also, as a relatively newbie yarnworker (both knit and crochet) I DO assume that most guys are also new to knitting. I don't get the "I knew all that" attitude so if I share a magazine or book or blog reference, I feel like I'm really shairing.

Posted by: Cathy at March 2, 2006 12:38 PM

I feel bad about admitting this, but in the interests of honesty I gotta say that although I wouldn’t take for granted that the knitting gent was gay,it would cross my mind as a distinct possibility, unless I was attending a class or other gathering where a significant number of knitters were present. However, I would immediately give myself a mental slap on the wrist and consider that the late Duke of Windsor, whose vigorous heterosexuality lost him his throne, was a great one for needlepoint. Along with his brother George he was taught it by his mother, Queen Mary, and I understand he was quite good.

Would I find it hot? Sure, if Daniel Day-Lewis or Heath Ledger was doing the knitting.

Posted by: Alison at March 8, 2006 6:42 PM

Ha. It is SO all about Jake.

Posted by: Leigh Witchel at March 8, 2006 7:05 PM

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