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June 17, 2006
I. am. TRAUMATIZED.
Days like this that convince me that like Sutherland in Dancer from the Dance, my years in New York City have turned me into some sort of sea anemone that can only live in a pressurized environment, and removal from that environment can be potentially hazardous.
I spent the afternoon in a mall.
I. am. traumatized.
Mom needed to buy a water heater so we went to Sears in White Plains. It took some finding as it had been in the same place since I was a child but was no longer there. A quick phone call indicated that it was now in the Galleria Mall a few blocks away, having moved about 3 years ago.
While Mom was haranguing the poor sales clerk about the warranty on a heater, I hadn’t eaten lunch so got some food at the Food Court. I know there are a few food courts in Manhattan, but they don’t have their full effect here. You need a big one with Dunkin Donuts and Sbarro and Wendy’s and McDonalds and Nathan’s and Cinnabon and Manchu Wok and Sayonara Sushi and every mediocre dining chain and ersatz ethnic franchise in the book. Obese people were trundling around with large plates of fried chicken wings and pork fried rice. Children were racing around, honking toy cars while their parents ate. I grabbed a small burger at Wendy’s and contemplated my fate. One floor up, I could see Piercing Pagoda.
I don’t think I am meant for Mall Culture.
Today was also the U.S. Open. It was held at Winged Foot Golf Course in my home town, Mamaroneck. I don’t get golf as a spectator sport (it moves at such a deliberate pace, what is there to watch?) but golf fans probably don’t get watching ballet. Metro-North had extra trains to accommodate the spectators but it was still a mob scene at the train station. I’ve already been traumatized at the food court, so I was contemplating darkly the suburban hell at the train station. Acres and acres of heterosexual drones wearing polo shirts with logos and khaki shorts and baseball caps. . .
About at this point I noticed what I was wearing – a polo shirt and khaki pants.
But my shirt was black and without a logo, so it’s O.K.
Posted by Leigh Witchel at June 17, 2006 10:07 PM
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Comments
I think after all these years that you are out of touch with suburban existence. Otherwise you would have known that for a Hot Water Heater that Sears is no longer where America shops... such purchases in 2006 are made at either Home Depot or Lowes (for less than what Sears charges).
At least while at the mall you weren't spotted looking for black light posters at Spencer Gifts! :-)
Posted by: Steve at June 18, 2006 12:33 PM
Many years ago, I bought my pepper grinder at that mall.
Posted by: sandi at June 29, 2006 1:37 PM